Courting a Woman: Has the Art Been Lost?

 

Does a man still have the right to court a woman today without being accused of violence?

Sadly, many men no longer know how to engage in the wonderful tradition of courtship. Even a friendly or suggestive glance can, in today’s climate, be misinterpreted as aggression. This reality is rooted in a broader context: women have historically been, and remain, victims of physical, emotional, and psychological abuse. Protecting women is essential, and measures—especially those heightened during Covid-19—have been crucial in addressing these injustices.

Yet, heightened awareness and legal protections can sometimes lead to misunderstandings or, occasionally, misuse of the system. In my experience as a judicial expert, I have observed cases where claims were not always made in good faith. Thankfully, many judges act with professionalism and fairness, taking context and evidence into account—but this is not consistent across all regions of France.

The result today is a certain instability in how men can express admiration or affection. Compliments that once might have been received as flattering can now be seen as offensive or even abusive. Social media platforms like Facebook, TikTok, and other international forums amplify this problem, exposing men to public criticism and misinterpretation more than ever before.

External factors further complicate the situation. Global conflicts, such as the war between Russia and Ukraine or the ongoing tensions between Israel and Palestine, have created widespread uncertainty and stress. History shows that societies living under prolonged conflict—from the World Wars to the Cold War—experience increased social anxiety, mistrust, and difficulty forming meaningful personal relationships. Stress and insecurity are powerful disruptors of human connection.

At the same time, popular beliefs about life, success, and happiness—whether from social media, cultural norms, or historical ideals of rational self-control—often add pressure rather than relief. Humans have always sought external validation to define their worth, from the Enlightenment era to today, and this continues to complicate the pursuit of authentic relationships.

Many now turn to dating apps to avoid loneliness. Historically, men bore the financial costs of these platforms, but today women often share expenses, which seems fair. Yet, meaningful human connection remains elusive for many. Why?

1.     Digital conversation cannot fully replicate face-to-face interaction.

2.   Even single women often struggle to form genuine connections online.

3.   Social and emotional education has not prepared us for these new ways of meeting people.

Humanity faces a digital inheritance. The next generation will grow up navigating these complexities, building the future based on the values and habits passed down to them. Much of today’s misunderstanding and emotional struggle is the legacy of previous generations.

The pandemic amplified these dynamics, exposing both societal strengths and weaknesses. Yet, history reminds us of human resilience: after the 1918 Spanish flu, and following the devastation of the World Wars, communities rebuilt social bonds, trust, and intimacy. Crises may challenge us, but they cannot extinguish the human desire for connection.

Despite conflicts, misunderstandings, and evolving social norms, one thing remains constant: humans seek companionship, emotional connection, and love. Courtship may have changed, and digital life has transformed the way we meet and interact, but the fundamental human need to connect endures.

This is my reflection—a synthesis from years of observing modern society, the evolving nature of courtship, and the many historical and contemporary factors that shape human happiness.

SAISI