Unwanted Loneliness 7 guidelines

 

7 guidelines

Loneliness, as such, is neither good nor bad. It depends on how each one lives and accepts it. We all want to be alone at times. We need it and it suits us. However, there are times when it is difficult to face unwanted loneliness and we experience it with sadness and/or a feeling of abandonment. Being alone for a long time can imply serious inconvenience, as we are, above all, social beings.

Therefore, it is necessary to know how to face, manage and accept loneliness. In this article, we're going to present seven guidelines for coping with unwanted loneliness intelligently, in a way that promotes our personal growth.

The destructive loneliness

There are various forms of “negative” loneliness. A person can be reserved, but not injure his social relationships. Another type of negative loneliness occurs when someone feels helpless, alone, without company and with little prospect of change in the situation. That is, she feels loneliness as a condemnation: an unchosen situation, a kind of punishment and, for all intents and purposes, something unfair.

It can be difficult to change family or group situations, regardless of whether the person is single, married or widowed. This feeling of loneliness, when not chosen, is one of the most negative experiences for our personal, affective and health development, both mentally and physically.

The concept of loneliness is different from the concept of isolation. Even more different is the concept of dependency. We can say that there are three distinct faces of loneliness, with their pros and cons.

What are common forms of loneliness?

There is solitude understood as a distance from noise, crowds, noise… We need solitude to be able to “feed ourselves”, to pray, write or concentrate. This solitude turns the road that connects us with our interior into a multi-lane lane.

This solitude is necessary in our life and cannot harm us. If we know how to deal intelligently with it, it can bring us great benefits. However, solitude is often not chosen, but imposed. In cases of imposed loneliness, we see loneliness with such intensity that we can be surrounded by people and feel alone at the same time. So many people around, but very little sense of company!

The tragic psychological loneliness

Psychological loneliness is perhaps the most terrible type of loneliness. It can make us develop a real pathology, inducing suicide in the most extreme cases. On the other hand, loneliness can come from the feeling of not maintaining deep relationships, such as the absence of a true friendship or family members who can be trusted. Our personality configuration can predispose us to this feeling. There are studies that reveal that at the age of forty it increases strongly, ending in retirement and the emancipation of children.

When children are emancipated, the so-called “empty nest syndrome” can happen. So, it is necessary to act and face loneliness in the best possible way. Something needs to be done if in our work, in our family or in our social group we feel alone and this feeling seems to suffocate us little by little.

The loss of autonomy and the difficulty to move around favours another type of loneliness. This type can enrich us in some way as long as we know how to adapt and accept this loneliness.

7 tips for coping with unwanted loneliness

We can do a number of things to control and cope with unwanted loneliness. It's not about not being alone; it's about not feeling alone. Among some guidelines, we highlight the following:

Organize yourself differently

It is a good idea to organize life according to our current status (single, widowed, retired, childless, etc.). Don't organize yourself according to the stressful routine you had as a housewife or as a company employee. Now it's time to incorporate activities into our agenda that allow us to share interests with others.

Establish schedules

Try to keep to a time to go to bed and get up. Try not to get into anarchy; it will give you a great sense of security. On days when you don't have to wake up early, don't stay in bed. Not getting your body used to a schedule will increase the feeling of melancholy.

Always eat at the same time

If possible, always eat your meals at the same time. Have dinner every night, even if it's something light. Don't fall into the trap of eating only when you're hungry and out of control. You will notice the difference in your physical health and your state of mind. Clutter begets more clutter and, at the same time, anxiety.

Try to establish a rhythm; don't leave it to your state of mind

Don't be carried away by the impulse of the bad moment you are going through. “I get bored; I don't feel like taking a shower, getting changed… I stay on the couch all day waiting for a call or a visit that never arrives”. Look at the clock and do what you had planned for that day!

Do rewarding activities

Do you have a vegetable garden? Go take care of her. If you have a garden, there will always be something to do. If not, put some plants on the balcony. You can also tidy the house, organize your papers, and wash the dishes… Doing something that distracts and keeps you active is positive and healthy.

You shouldn't "kill time"

We need to find something to occupy and fill our time, but something that is meaningful, that entertains us and makes us grow. Don't complain about not having much money. The rich don't have their leisure time filled, they get bored too. It's about looking for something that attracts and “holds” you.

Doing activities that we like to do and enjoy doing is a good way to face unwanted loneliness.

Change your rhythm of life

The monotony is broken with changes. Change your habits, put a little risk in your life, and think that you don't need anyone to go to the movies, to go to dinner on any given day or to travel.

The relationship that we will maintain with loneliness, isolation and dependence is in our hands. Living alone does not mean being alone or being a lonely person. What matters is accepting the personal situation we are going through and fighting to compensate for the loneliness with friends, family, children, and groups. If you are experiencing such a situation, we hope these guidelines can help you, even a little!

SAISI