MY CHILDREN AND ME!

Yes, I’m talking about me, and part of my life in public!

I have three children; two children from my only marriage and the third one 23 years after.

Why do I do this? Because I have enough to suffer from my own mistakes and trying to rectifying them.
However, trying to do it is one thing, and, having an ex-wife that will not forgive you after 20 years is another thing!

My first born Daniel Jorge da Palma Ferreira and his sister Zara-lee da Palma Ferreira and my third and last earthling is called Penelope Ferreira. My two first children decided not to use their family name (FERREIRA) and I ask myself if they want to abolish my family name! If so, it means that I am not worth for them to carry it.

Concerning my only marriage I have left my wife even having 2 children with her. Why? My destany I think. I am sorry for what I did! Even thaw, it is not simple to explain to my own children that what it happen between mama and me and, does not mean that I do not love them! But is not simple to explain!

I travelled allot at the time and I know that I was not present for them at crucial growing time.

I have tried to get in contact with them more recently to have news and to get closer, but life made it quite impossible! I wrote a mail to my daughter: (On Mon, Sep 24, 2012 at 11:31 PM, Jorge Ferreira wrote:

Good evening my daughter!

Is now, more than time that I Wright to you concerning being your father. I have tried, but, I guess not with success to have enough contact with you and your brother, of course!

I cannot repair the mistakes I did in the past; but, I can only try to correct them if you allow me. After all, I do not know you or your brother as my children; but is not for nothing that I am trying once again to know who you are besides being my children. Meaning; you come from my blood, and, after all, my blood are my children! I did not recognize you as my children to give you only my family name for nothing! I understand, and, I accept all your resentments concerning me. However, I always miss you both and; I think that you know that. I have, and, am suffering still for not being all the time there for you when you both needed my support, caring, love, etc.… I have left you both and, your mother at the time you all needed me most. Today I regret big time my decision, but, I did it. And I can only ask you two for forgiveness, as well as mama.

Give us all an opportunity to know each other. Please!

Love you both very much.

Daddy”

Shortly after I wrote to Zara and Daniel to announce that they had an Alf sister called Penelope. I had no answer at the time!

To my surprise, she wrote saying:

 “2012/9/29 Zara&Daniel da Palma

Hello,

As much as we appreciate you trying to now be a concerned father, it will not fix the situation.

The time for a father has passed and we have moved on.

The past is the past and we cannot go back, just do better by Penelope so that you don’t repeat the mistakes

That were done.  

Rest assured we are doing well.

Kind regards »

I was pleased that she had answered my mail and, I wrote:

“Hi Zara-Lee,

It was a pleasure to receive your email and to read it. As well as; to know that you are doing well.

I agree with you that; we cannot go back in the past but, we can at least try to rectify and or, repair our mistakes of the past. If we can of course!

Soon will be three years that Penelope’s mom has left me. I guess that what goes around comes around. That’s the saying… however, I truly agree with you that; I should do better concerning Penelope, not to make the same mistakes I did in the past with you. I have her two weekends a month for about 7 months, one full month in the year and the other 4 winter months we see each other on skype. As you can see I am trying not to make the same mistakes. I guess that with the experience of life and age, we see life differently!

I take this opportunity to which you a very happy birthday my daughter.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Daddy”

If you have notice, she does not call me daddy or papa; but by my first name. I can understand but…

On the third of October, her birthday, I wrote an email:

“Hi Zara-lee,

I Wright to you to which you a happy birthday on your 26th birthday.

Hope you have a memorable day!

Please say hello to Danny for me.

Love dad,”

In between I had no email from her and on the 9^th of December I wrote:

“Dear Zara-lee and Daniel,

Dad had a heart attack on the 28^th of June and I was operated twice. All is going well now; meaning my heart is getting stronger but unfortunately I steel cannot work… and I lost my business due to my sickness!

I would like to call for Christmas. Will you and your brother be at mums?

A kiss to both of you,

Dad”

 This time she wrote saying:

“Dear Jorge,

I'm sorry to hear about your heart attack, glad you are doing well though.

We will not be home for Christmas, but we wish you a wonderful Christmas and New Year’s.

Regards,

Zara-Lee

And unfortunately, our last correspondence was in 11^th of December 2014 when I wrote to her saying:

“My daughter Zara

Thank you for your email

As you say, It is not pleasant to have bad news but I am doing well for now

Would like to phone and speak to you and if possible with Daniel. Since you are not at home Christmas do you think is possible that I can call before or even after Christmas?

God bless

Dad

2014-12-11 18:55 GMT+01:00 »

I have tried to contact them in many different was, Facebook, twitters, etc. Although I had no pleasure! Today I decided to call their mother and I’ve spoken to her only to find out that she did not forgive me for more than 20 years now!

I also had confirmation that my son Daniel Jorge is gay. I already knew this because I succeeded to find him on Facebook and learned this – which now he blocked his face so I cannot see anything anymore.

Part of my life is saisi.